9.05.2008 • Friday, September 05, 2008
WHEN I WAS IN MY SECONDARY CCA...NCC....
I FEEL THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE BEST THAT WILL SURVIVE....
NCC...MY GOAL WAS TO BE THE CSM(SOME BIG FUCK)OF THE SCHOOL UNIT....I STRIVE AND PERSERVERE....ONE BY ONE..PEOPLE JUST LEFT....I BECAME VERY HAPPY....
I AM ABLE TO GET MY GOAL...LESS COMPETITION...I FELT I WAS THE BEST....
YA TRUE...I WAS THE BEST TILL NOW...MY JUNIORS STILL REMEMBER WHO I AM.....THE SAD PART IS THAT....THE UNIT IS FUCKED UP NOW....I REGRET NOT SETTLING THE FOUNDATION FOR MY JUNIORS...THAT'S THE PAST...MOVING ON....
CURRENTLY,I AM IN SP,SP DRAGONBOAT TEAM....
IT STARTED OUT WITH A BIG FAMILY....(IT SEEMS LIKE ONE)
I WAS FAT,NOT FIT.....I COULDN'T DO ANY PULL UPS....I SUCK AT WEIGHTS...
I WAS LABEL AS FAT DOM!
I WANTED TO BE FIT...ABLE TO DO PULL UPS...EXCEL IN MY WEIGHTS....
I TOOK THINGS IN MY HAND....I TRAINED HARD...VERY HARD......
IN MY MIND...I HAVE THIS MENTALITY.....EVERY GUY CARES FOR HIS OWN ASS....I WANTED TO BE THE BEST...I WANT TO BE FIT...ALL THIS STUFF....
AFTER A PEREIOD OF TIME...MAYBE NOW....
I AM SURE THAT I HAVE ACHIEVED QUITE A FEW OF THESE GOALS
BUT...EVEN THOUGH I AM DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I USED TO BE...
I AM PROUD OF WHAT I HAVE ACHIEVED SO FAR....
THROUGH THIS 2 YEARS JOURNEY....I WITNESS PEOPLE COME AND GO....
MY BUDDIES....THE FRIENDS WHO BECAME MY CLOSE BROTHERS....
IT ALWAYS HURT TO SEE MY BROTHERS LEAVE ONE BY ONE....
I KNOW I AM FUCKING NAIVE...I THOUGHT THAT I CAN BRING THEM BACK....
I THOUGHT I WAS SOMEBODY...WHO IS ABLE TO BRING MY BROTHERS TO ROW AGAIN...
ROW WITH ME,MY TEAM AGAIN....
JUST TODAY..THIS THINGS WERE JUST DREAMS OF MINE...SILLY DREAMS....
REALITY SLAP ME IN MY FUCKING FACE....
THEY TOLD ME WHATEVER I DO...I CAN JOLLY WELL FUCKING FORGET IT.....
MY BROTHERS IN THE BOAT TOLD ME....NO POINT ASKING ANYONE TO COME BACK.....THEY DON'T WISH TOO...
I AM JUST COMMENTLESS.....WHAT THE USE OF THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST?
EVEN IF YOU ARE FUCKING FIT...EVERYONE LEAVES ONE BY ONE....
NO MATTER HOW FIT ONE IS...YOU JUST CAN'T COVER THE STRENGTH OF YOUR TEAM MATE.....
IF I WERE ABLE TO DO SO...
DRAGONBOAT WILL NOT BE CALLED A TEAM SPORT....
I SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO....
I HAVE ALREADY TRIED MY BEST....
THINGS AREN'T GOING AS WHAT IT IS SUPPOSE TO....
I GUESS FATE IS CRUEL...IT HAS ITS WAYS TO TWIST US AROUND HIS FINGER....
WE ARE ALL HIS VICTIMS....
SOMEONE...PLEASE..SHOW ME SOME LIGHT....
I AM TIRED OF HOLDING ON ALREADY......